DOES LOVING LESS MAKE YOU STRONGER?

BY CYNAID CREE

When I sit in business meetings I often wonder if Love is very much like business deals.If you think about it,the people who are more firm or more confident and dont back down in a deal are usually the successful ones.The other party is usually surprised by your forcefulness and takes this as a strong person to take a chance on or taking a chance on something of what they dont know of what it is that will happen.Guess what I'm trying to say is that if you are not showing desperation and you can sometimes walk away without a deal being done,sometimes this makes you stronger and successful and the other person can respect this.You are confident in your beliefs and what you stand for.

So does Loving Less make you stronger?Yes and No.Not intentionally"Loving Less" but pretending to Love Less that is not desperate.If You look back to your teenage years you probably blabbed out everything that was in your mind to the person you liked.Then you thought oh shoot he/she is going to think Im a looney bin.Too much too soon.Its ok being honest but just think how would you react in a business meeting.You go in all prepared,with a concise plan in mind ,pack that confidence in and do what you have to do.Everything comes out beautifully.Perhaps you will be called in for a second meeting to discuss further or even a third meeting where you kind of know the gist of how to communicate with the person in front of you.You can gather from this that you will be able to have a great working relationship in the future and look at  ways in how you can carry each other towards success.Approaching Love is very much like the same thing.Off course there will be times where Love does not work according to appointments,it just happens.So if you just saw someone you were immediately interested in and see often,you would not say ''Hey babe can I have your number?".Dont say "Oh my god I really want to get your number because when I saw you coming,then I thought maybe I should,then I was hesistating and decided I would talk to you''.As sweet as you can be, that comes across very desperate and you dont want to invite some loser that will take advantage of you and get stuck in that pattern of choosing people who know you dont have the confidence.Something that does not relate to what your real intentions are, can work just fine.Like:
"Hi there,are you new?Im so and so,welcome to...",if somebody moved in your office building or apartment block.Its friendly without sounding too forward but it allows for someone to take notice in you.
Coming back to Loving Less making you stronger.It does not necessarily mean you dont have to love someone wholeheartedly.Give yourself time to get to know the other person,Give yourself time to get to know yourself because most of us dont really know who we are,what we are looking for and we dont need to settle for second best.This is what I mean by Loving less in the begininning that  does make you stronger because it allows you to put your confidence out in the world so the right people can find you.The right person is someone that is on your page and believes in your dreams,aspirations and future success just like their own.Love Less just in the beginning until you can intrepret where this relationship is heading.You know how Business is done,you do work and you get paid and vice versa.If you are contributing something to this relationship you should feel like the other person has your back too by contributing as well.This will make for a good partnership because it becomes stable as two people contribute towards the same goal.So business or personal this is how the deal is done.Shall we shake on that?
PHOTO COURTESY BY AMBRO

MOVING IN TOGETHER GOOD IDEA OR BAD IDEA?

BY CYNAID CREE
I aint got a clue on this one.For many years I challenged myself to find the answer to this question.The answer varies from different races when I asked them.Im not sure if its a culture or race thing or a time period thing.I was raised very traditional so moving in with a guy is a huge taboo in my family without being married first.If marriage didnt exist maybe it would not be such a bad thing that is moving in together but there are still many people that feel the need to be married.I think  60 years from now marriage will eventually be obselete but for now many people still pose the question of what they should be doing.It basically is up to your personal requirements.If you are laidback and casual you would move in together if you are conservative and need direct answers you would move in together after marriage.There is alot of pros and cons to moving in together and not moving in together.You decide:)

PROS-MOVING IN TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE
-When you move in together you get a feel to what it would be like being married.
-You get to see whether your personal living qualities will match your partners
-You have an exit point instead of getting a costly divorce
-Fix problems before it arises in marriage

CONS-MOVING IN TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE
-You get too used to each other and after getting married the romantic side of the relationship goes downhill because you aleady" been there,done that alot".This leaves room for infidelity.
-You make it too easy for your partner so there is nothing he needs to chase after  or work towards because the environment is comfortable.Men dont feel the need to pop the question.Ever heard the term men always want what they cant have.
-You clash over silly things like how to squeeze the toothpaste or keeping places tidy to your liking and using that clashes as a basis for a good marriage.Kim Kardashian had huge issues for her space been tresspassed or violated.Its sad when people think this is the most important basis for the success of a relationship.
-Buying a property is a serious decision in your life.Most people will vouch if you are buying a property for yourself.When purchasing with a partner , you have no idea if you are serious or not,this can be disastrous if the rlationship had to end.Sometimes Mr Right can be a while away.It puts you in alot of financial straints for yourself as you keep putting yourself at financial risk for many Mr Wrongs.
-More chances of you guys getting pregnant,something like starting a family so soon,which may not be on your list at the time.This takes time away from each other and your own activities.

PROS FOR NOT MOVING IN TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE
-You get to meet many people whilst not announcing it to friends and family so that if it doesnt work out you can always move on
-You dont have any financial ties with the person you just broke up with
-You keep the relationship alive by your partner still pursuing you.If he is not still pursuing you then obviously know you did the right thing by not being together because if you both were married he is someone that would stray.
-Gives you enough time to focus on your own careers,lives whilst keeping a romantic relationship.You are not bored with each other because you dont live together.It allows you to continue this in your marriage too.
-You are now married,financially stable and ready to start a family with someone you know that wanted the same as you
-Chances are you would probably fight about toothpaste because you never lived together but you realize the endurance you both were striving for in your relationship to get this far and see it as a minor flaw.
-You value marriage as something sacred and dont always look for divorce as the easy way out.If there are problems you will find the way in marriage to fix it.

CONS FOR NOT MOVING IN TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE
-You dont get to know everything about your partner till you are married
-You only find out after you were married, the problems that arise
-You already have children while you and your partner have marital problems
-Divorce is the only way out

PHOTO COURTESY BY: AMBRO

WHY DO WOMEN FEEL THE NEED TO BE A MISTRESS?

BY CYNAID CREE

The cheating game is like the wheel depicted in the tarot deck.The wheel of fortune but for a temporary time only. For centuries women fell prey and still fall prey to believing that something good will always come out of being the " other woman'' in a relationship.They believe that eventually the man will leave his homestead,wife and family for her.Being the other woman feels like a dream,to be whisked away spending each night in luxury hotels,dining at the most expensive restaurants.Diamonds and pearls sparkling away on your neck wrist and fingers.Soon that dream is over once you start falling in love.Any cheating man knows when that game is over.When a woman plays the game so well and one night she wants to " cuddle".

Although technology has changed over the years and continues to change making life simplier ,the cheating game has remained the same for centuries.Being a mistress is all fun in the beginning.Theres so much to gain,a great career,more luxury,a superb car but at the end of the day we are human and our hearts eventually crave the real love which were once replaced with material things.Every woman that enters the love triangle goes in thinking that she will be the only object of affection for the man she is cheating with.Little does she know that he has enough money to find a new mistress each and every time.The more the money,and the younger the better.I've watched several talk shows where the guests are " other woman'' and feel quite proud at being it too.Years later when their physical youth is no more,the only thing left to show is a broken heart.They are back on the show explaining their ignorance to their past love affairs.Luxury is temporary numbness to your heart.Eventually it gives way and exposes the hurt that you cause your own self.

Why do woman feel the need to be a mistress?
There is usually a deep root cause for substituting one of the following to fill that missing void.
-Lack of love from all the men in her life
-Using her body for material gains filling that void
-Not paying attention and ignoring what her heart really wants and is telling her
-Subsitituting wealth for emotion.

As with any human being.We all crave Love.The only way we can find Love that was missing in our lives is when:
- We start respecting our bodies like a temple in which it was created for.Respecting ourselves first
-We tell ourselves that there is nothing wrong with us and we are perfect in every way.
-We command respect and we shall receive it from all.
-We take charge of our weaknessess and focus awareness on it
-We concentrate on our strengths that will help take us away from tempting situations.

Being a mistress only leads you full circle on helping you realize why you spent so many years chasing something that could not really make your life complete.I hope one day women will catch a wake up call and start respecting themselves more.Even if you are an independant woman with your own money,craving love that you will never get only wastes time that you could spend on your own spiritual growth.

There is an article from a mistress who published a book based on her experience being a mistress.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-501371/The-mistress-self-delusion-Lord-Archers-ex-lovers-guide-virtues-woman.html

photo courtesy by:Salvatore Vuono