LOVE UNSAID

BY CYNAID CREE
Have you ever being misunderstood?felt angry for a long time and not resolved it.Life is too short to wait for tragedies to appreciate the love wer're given in our lives.It doesn't matter if its your partner,a family member or a friend.Sometimes love can be toxic and at other times love just needs forgiveness to renew something that was broke.The thing about Family love is no matter  how much we all fight,we're back being brother and sister again.If we used this concept in our lives I bet most of our love fears can be fixed.I always get mails from Mona Wind.She said something that was so close to what I'm always writing about I thought I'd share it with you too.We all need a bit of love advice in our lives.You're never too old for it.Read the paragraph below from Mona Wind

"Yes, I have been turned down many a time and  misunderstood. Often times it's from the ones I expect will
 reciprocate. Oye.. that hurts the most. Yet I understand that the other person might not be ready, doesn't want to or know how to fully receive, is to scared to, or their conditioning stops them.


  1. Love is NOT a two way street. Yes, you heard me! It's not, I
  love you so you love me. This limited way of being love will
  make you sick to your stomach. You'll always be waiting to be
  loved when you can just BE LOVE. Every little cell in your
  system is filled with love. Only you, your family, society,
  beliefs, experiences can shut it down. It is the very fiber of
  your being. You can hold it in like bad gas all you want, but
  you cannot help but want to express love. Here's a picture of a
  cute puppy. I dare you to hold in your love now!
  I remember one of my friends saying “I love you,” with deep
  emotion. And then he became paralyzed with the outburst of his
  true self as if he'd done a hideous thing. That's when I
  realized that he had some “rules” and he'd broken them.
 
  2. Love has no rules. That's not love, that's some nonsensical
  limitation that says that you're only allowed to love people
  who are single, nice, family (unless they're im-perfect!),
  friends, pets, plants, love you back, pretty, funny, rich,
  handsome, beautiful.... blah blah. This keeps you stuck and
  limited in your loving. The most horrific part is that society,
  friends, family who believe love is an exchange of energy
  between two people that is limited, will limit you as well.
  In conclusion, tell whomever you love and want to love that you
  love them.  Time is flying by (almost 2012), opportunities are
  passing, take the ones you have now. Stop waiting for that
  perfect timing, person. BE YOUR TRUE SELF. Say it all before
  you no longer have the privilege of being in the presence of
  the one you love, whomever they are."

 

Mona Wind




photo courtesy by:nuttakit

HOW AN OBSESSIVE MIND CAN DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP

BY CYNAID CREE

I get wonderful emails and on one particular email I received this story.I don't know who it is by but this is the story:

There is a powerful story in the Vedas (Indian spiritual
scriptures) that talks about the mind and how it can come in our
way.

The mind came to a spiritual master (Yogi) and said to him, "Give
me something to do or I'll eat you."

The Yogi asked the mind to do the laundry, mow the lawn and wash
the dishes.

The mind came back to the Yogi and said, "Give me something else
to do or I'll eat you."

The Yogi asked the mind to pay the bills, buy groceries, wash the
car and fill it with gas.

The mind came back to the Yogi and said, "What now, or I'll eat
you."

That's when the Yogi realized that the mind was insatiable and
that no matter what he gave it, it would come back for more.

So the Yogi pointed to a pole in front of him and told the mind
to go up and down that pole until it was tired. The mind is still there!

This is what our mind does to us, goes up and down a million
times a day. You may think this is harmless, but in reality
you're not using your energy in the most profound way possible.
It's being wasted.

If we don’t realize the thousand of things that we actually use our time and convince our mind to do ,we will never be able to stop.Just imagine if people didn't have to eat,we would be on our laptops,cellphones 24/7 not to mention the hours we would be spending glaring at screens.Thank goodness we have to eat, it allows us the time to spend talking to our loved ones over dinner.It allows us to catch up with an old friend for coffee.Even our work breaks forces our thoughts to stop processing to shut off our minds and take a breather.On our work breaks not only do we eat, we also may be able to sneak some minutes to do window shopping which is actually really good for the mind.It helps us to shut off all hounding thoughts and errands on our to do list.It helps us to recharge our batteries even if its only for a few minutes.Can you imagine if we are able to really give ourselves more time than just work breaks to shut off from the stresses of everyday life.Most geniuses actually became geniuses of their inventions when their mind was in a peaceful state of mind,Henry Ford,Albeit Einstein just to name a few.An obsessive mind can actually be destructive to a relationship.We are busy worrying about tomorrow instead of worrying about today.We fail to create a little peace of mind with all that jargon that goes on inside our minds to really appreciate spending time with our partners.
So How do we stop the obsessive mind:
1)Realize in the moment of your racing thoughts and you talking to yourself
2)Try to do little everyday so you don't end up with a massive to do list
3)Give yourself time to take a break if you feel like the world is overshadowing you eg having a cup of coffee in the garden,going to the movies,spending time together with your partner on a date
4)Tell your partner of the stresses you are encountering,never keep it to yourself
5)Always ask for help so that you don't create an obsessive mind behaviour of all things you need to do
6)If you don't take care of yourself today,you are not able to take care of anybody else today or tomorrow

Love is a wonderful thing.If you are too busy to see love come into your life,you will be so busy that you will watch it come and go in your life.This is why it is so important that we must know when to stop and realize when too much is just too much for you and your partner to handle.Make time for the most important things in your life,what you may think is important on your to do list may be superficial and not really important at all
photo courtesy by :idea go

THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE

BY CYNAID CREE
A kiss and a hug,a warm smile,a love letter,receiving a single flower.All these, are acts of love and its free.So why do we spend so much time thinking on superficial things on relationship glitches that takes up so much time in our mind.I  was watching a movie and I saw someone receiving a kiss and in that moment I instantly recognized the simple things we take for granted.When we have it we don't want it,when we don't have it we want it.The amount of happiness a single kiss or hug can bring is beautiful.Its a feeling of love we all can have ,if we  see it in the moment  for more than what it just is...

Do you realize the simple things in life is what makes us fall in love.Imagine if we could remember what we first encountered with a person and remembered it everyday,I bet most divorced couples wouldn't be divorced by now if they went back to the day  simple started.Those same simple things in life happens all over again till you find a new smile,a new hug and more flowers.It really gets down to being simple again.Our stressful lives is with too much living in it with all the wrong living styles,text messaging and tablets,flat screens and mp3 players all day long.I really do believe simplicity will bring you back to love.We tend to take everything and everyone for granted.My simple rule for simple living is if you love someone look at them when you're talking and not away at your newspaper,your electronic devices or talking on your phone with two people,one in your ear and one in the air.When people fall in love its all about the eye contact,you never forget the first time you seen something or someone so beautiful remembering their exact colour of their eyes.Who could forget it?

When you fail to look,.you fail to see and when you fail to see,you also don't see love anymore.Get back to simplicity appreciating every single thing and person around you and you will start to see life with brand new eyes.Whenever I see two old people holding hands ,there's a smile on their face like their relationship just started.I look at them and think maybe they realized it was time to get back to simple.We think that we know more than the old in a techny savy world, but really it is they who know more .When cellphone networks are crashing and people's thumbs stop moving, that's heaven saying don't forget you still have hugs and kisses:*

photo courtesy by photostock and Arvind Balaraman

WHAT IS REALLY AN ARGUMENT?

By CYNAID CREE
Have you ever misplaced an object only to find,how it got to the place it did?I once misplaced a textbook,and you'll never guess where i found it.I looked and looked for a whole day.Eventually it showed up and guess where I found it... in the freezer.I must have opened the freezer to take out something and ended up packing the book away too.I also misplace pens very easily too,but dont we all?You might say those are objects and relationships are much more complex.How is it the same?

Arguments are very similar too.We fight unconsciously and we create more harm than good.We misplace the solutions to arguments we already know so we keep fighting about the same things over and over.Imagine if we knew what we were doing in that moment.We wont be wasting time in an argument about who was right.Instead we would realize there is a problem,fix it and move on living a happier peaceful life every single day.

We are coming to a new age where we all are forced to look deep within ourselves and to be aware of our actions.Divorce may be an easier way to get out of an argument which is not really resolved but how many failed relationships do we need to come to terms with our own actions?Eventually our actions will stare at us and we will be forced to deal with it at some point in our life.Life is like a ferris wheel.I'm amazed how similar it works to the actions of people in society today.You will have a chance to jump in for the ride and when the ride stops,you have to get out too.Each basket eventually comes to a halt,for you to exit the ride.Everybody has to deal with their own challenges in life.If you ignore it,it will come back to you at some point or another to deal with what you supposedly ignored at a previous time.Its always better to deal with an argument in its present stage than years of supressed anger.

SO HOW DO WE DEAL WITH AN ARGUMENT?
-Be aware of each others mistakes
-Correct it but remember it
-Make each other aware of the person that we love the most.Make aware to each other how anger changes us and makes us behave
-Be aware of yourself when anger starts to take control of you.Immediately recogonize whats happening and stop right in that moment.
-Always deal with current problems immediately
-Never bring up the past during an argument in the present or future.You live for today and this will help you become a better person tomorrow

photo courtesy:Photostock

HOW PEOPLE FALL IN AND OUT OF LOVE

BY CYNAID CREE

Most people fall in love when they are their happiest self.There is usually something going good for them at this time.This usually allows people to attract their significant other.Most importantly all of their awareness and being is in them during this time which allows love to attract love.How you are feeling is a good indication of who you will attract specifically in this time.

How do you fall out of love?A person has to be physically present in a relationship.By this I mean being physically present in mind awareness too.Once mind awareness has being lost,the relationship starts to fade too.Your body is there,but you as a person  and your heart is not there anymore.A relationship is very much like tending to a garden.How often do you de-weed and mow your lawn,everyday,once a week,once in two weeks?What happens when you neglect your garden?You dont see a garden anymore.Theres weeds of every kind,your precious flowers have died and you cant seem to see what you once knew you had.If you tend to your garden once a week,its sufficient to maintain this beautiful garden.With the stresses of everyday life,we sometimes fail to acknowledge what we have, and what we saw when we were in love.How then do people start to fall out of love?.This question is very difficult to answer.Before we can have time to save a dying garden we have to be available to have the time to do it.By this I mean we should start to create the time that is needed to.We become too busy only to realize it when its too late.Most importantly we should be able to acknowledge whats most important to us in our lives first.In a modernized world,we all have to work hard to succeed but not when it distracts your vision so much that you dont see truth and clarity anymore.There was a reason why two people are brought together onto a certain path,call it a blessing or fate but when you begin to see a similar bad pattern in each relationship you definitely dont have your life in order to understand if the relationship you're in is the right one for you or that you are just running away from something that could be a perfect relationship that just needs tending.Realizing your mistakes and correcting it will best help you in your current or future relationship.

photo courtesy: by digitalart

UNEXPECTED LOVE

BY CYNAID CREE
Last night and today I thought of how two people really come together and today I received a surprised email on this very topic called Unexpected love.I don't think people really understand their place and function in the world as a piece to a puzzle.Read the extract below by Mona wind which is important that I share with you.

"I love the feeling of love. Who doesn't? We pine for it, crave
it, visualize that in it's perfect form it will complete us.
Yet, love comes in many ways. Most of the time when you're least
expecting it.


I went to an energetic training a few weeks ago. It was quite a
lovely event with many people gathered from all over the US. I
noticed a beautiful woman who kept looking at me and commenting
on my necklace. She really liked it. As I was meditating I got
the hit that the necklace was for her. That I must give it to
her. It was important for her in some way and I was the one who
had the privilege of sharing in the experience.


During the break I gifted it to her. She was both shocked and
delighted. The unexpectedness of receiving something from
someone you don't even know.


Being that I'm curious I asked her what it really meant to her.
Her answer was that she was wondering about love and learning to
be open to it. That she was part of the universe and was cared
and supported in her work.


For me that was such a pleasure. I realized in that moment that
the true nature of love is giving with no expectations, just for
the sake of seeing someone else happy. This lesson is of course
easier when there is no attachment to the outcome.
If you're looking for it from a particular person, situation or
experience it might not come that way. That is both
disappointing and heart breaking. Yet know without a doubt that
the universe has heard you, it's just creating the most
delicious story possible to make it happen!
The universe knows exactly what would be the best for you and I,
our job is to have awareness that it's happening and gratitude
for it. My suggestion is to write down what gifts you receive in
the next week. Some are physical, some mental & emotional and
some spiritual. Let me share with you some of the gifts of love
that I have received in the last week.


1. The reflexology therapist gave me the last piece of wisdom I
needed to move to the next stage of my life.


2. My neighbors cat who usually ignores me and goes straight for
my husband actually honored me with wanting my attention.


3. One of my clients messages to me expanded my consciousness.


4. Someone who cares deeply about me sent me an email just to
see how I was doing.


5. I laughed with a group of friends till I couldn't breathe.


6. The sunset with purples, reds and yellows was breath taking.


There is always love around you if you chose to pay attention to
it. It can be as simple as a smile from a stranger.
Acknowledging it allows more of it to enter your life. Remember
you might be the gifter of that love to someone else. Smile, say
something nice, offer some help, be generous. Don't be shy, gift
it to them, you might change their life and in the process
change yours!"-Mona Wind


photo courtesy :Danilo Razutti

WHY MEN HATE WOMEN WHO GOSSIP?

BY CYNAID CREE

What makes us attractive women?It's not only based on what we look like.Many times men love who we really are.I was reading Eckhart Tolle's A NEW EARTH, and came across this passage which fits perfectly with why women feel the need to gossip.Gossiping is what all women love but when does it start to be an unattractive thing for men?A woman has two parts to her,the attractive intellectual self and the egotistical self.Many men are attracted to the attractive intellectual self of a woman.Who is this egotistical self of a woman that feels the need to talk about and find a complaint on anything and everything.Women who find the need to complain and gossip is usually using more of their egostical self than their real self.Men hate women who do this as they project it as who they really are which women dont realize it.We all know our mothers,sisters and best friends,we love them dearly yet other people cant stand them.Ever wondered why?Its their egotistical self ,their exterior self that they project in their workplace,to their female co-workers and friends.Men dont like cattiness nor do they find this trait attractive in women.The true self of a woman is the self that they let their partners in on.How can a woman who gossips be loved by any man?This is the self that they show only to people they love.What is the solution,to stop gossiping,when you stop gossiping,you silence your ego self who says how dare you be better than me and beat my sales,how dare you look better than me,how dare you have a boyfriend yet im still single,what about me me me?This is true for celebrities too.Who we think they ought to be is not who they are,they have their acting self  and then their real self.Many women want to be with the attention of who they are as a public celebrity figure,but not their real self.How sad is that.

Why women should stop gossiping.It serves no one a purpose.When you become real,the world of love and opportunities opens up to you.Read the extract from A NEW EARTH which will help you identify the real me self vs the ego self



THE EGO'S NEED TO FEEL SUPERIOR

"There are many subtle but easily overlooked forms of ego that you

may observe in other people and, more important, in yourself. Remember:

The moment you become aware of the ego in yourself, that emerging

awareness is who you are beyond ego, the deeper “I.” The recognition of the

false is already the arising of the real.

For example, you are about to tell someone the news of what

happened. “Guess what? You don't know yet? Let me tell you.” If you are

alert enough, present enough, you may be able to detect a momentary sense

of satisfaction within yourself just before imparting the news, even if it is bad

news. It is due to the fact that for a brief moment there is, in the eyes of the

ego, an imbalance in your favor between you and the other person. For that

brief moment, you know more than the other. The satisfaction that you feel is

of the ego, and it is derived from feeling a stronger sense of self relative to

the other person. Even if he or she is the president or the pope, you feel

superior in that moment because you know more. Many people are addicted

to gossiping partly for this reason. In addition, gossiping often carries an

element of malicious criticism and judgment of others, and so it also

strengthens the ego through the implied but imagined moral superiority that

is there whenever you apply a negative judgment to anyone.

If someone has more, knows more, or can do more than I, the ego

feels threatened because the feeling of “less” diminishes its imagined sense

of self relative to the other. It may then try to restore itself by somehow

diminishing, criticizing, or belittling the value of the other person's

possessions, knowledge, or abilities. Or the ego may shift its strategy, and

instead of competing with the other person, it will enhance itself by

association with that person, if he or she is important in the eyes of others.

EGO AND FAME

The wellknown

phenomenon of “name dropping,” the casual mention

of who you know, is part of the ego's strategy of gaining a superior identity

in the eyes of others and therefore in its own eyes through association with

someone “important.” The bane of being famous in this world is that who

you are becomes totally obscured by a collective mental image. Most people

you meet want to enhance their identity – the mental image of who they are

– through association with you. They themselves may not know that they are

not interested in you at all but only in strengthening their ultimately fictitious

sense of self. They believe that through you they can be more. They are

looking to complete themselves through you, or rather through the mental

image they have of you as a famous person, a largerthanlife

collective

conceptual identity.The absurd overvaluation of fame is just one of the many

manifestations of egoic madness in our world. Some famous people fall into

the same error and identify with the collective fiction, the image people and

the media have created of them, and they begin to actually see themselves as

superior to ordinary mortals. As a result, they become more and more

alienated from themselves and others, more and more unhappy, more and

more dependent on their continuing popularity. Surrounded only by people

who feed their inflated selfimage,they become incapable of genuine relationships.

Albert Einstein, who was admired as almost superhuman and whose

fate it was to become one of the most famous people on the planet, never

identified with the image the collective mind had created of him. He

remained humble, egoless. In fact, he spoke of “a grotesque contradiction

between what people consider to be my achievements and abilities and the

reality of who I am and what I am capable of.”5

This is why it is hard for a famous person to be in a genuine

relationship with others. A genuine relationship is one that is not dominated

by the ego with its imagemaking and selfseeking.

In a genuine relationship,there is an outward flow of open, alert attention toward the other person in

which there is no wanting whatsoever. That alert attention is Presence. It is

the prerequisite of any authentic relationship. The ego always either wants

something, or if it believes there is nothing to get from the other, it is in a

state of utter indifference: It doesn't care about you. And so, the three

predominant states of egoic relationship are: wanting, thwarted wanting(anger, resentment, blaming, complaining), and indifference."

PHOTO COURTESY by <p><a href="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2664">Image: Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net</a></p>

FEMALE DICTIONARY

I came across this and just laughed so hard..
http://www.scribd.com/doc/56971/Female-Dictionary

photo courtesy of  ntwowe

WHY IS LOVE SO HARD TO DEFINE?

BY CYNAID CREE
Love is something that nobody can teach you.No matter how many times people tell you how to love,how to receive love,how to let love go,you have to learn the lesson yourself.The History of love has repeated itself ,and will continue to repeat itself .Love makes you weak,and at the same time the pain you experience makes you stronger.They say love is blind.It truly is so.No best friend can convince her girlfriend,that she is making the worst mistake of her life.Love is a poisonous chemical flowing in your body that makes you do strange things.Negative traits of love in other words like a  hypnotized love can make you lose yourself in the process.You wake up years later only to find that you were living somebody else's life.



Positive traits of love is that, it makes you a more giving person,it not only opens your heart and eyes but the hearts and eyes of others too.You make them see what you see.You teach them how to love.This love hypnotizes them too and they teach how to love.Love is utterly an amazing thing.We talk about it,theres help on it,but it really is the same mistakes already made by generations of others.There is nothing different about it in todays age.The books are just re-written.What are we really looking for in relationships?Do we need confirmation from people that dont pay attention to us?Should we be paying attention to the people that we are receiving love from?Why do we head in the direction of dangerous love,when we know deep inside its no good for us?

You spend your whole life trying to find yourself,but when someone loves you just for you,just the way u are,you will see that trying so hard in life is not a race,just being content with your own self is happiness in itself.Love is you.Love is being you.Love is other people loving all of you.Love is maybe not so hard to define.We already have it,its there,we just always dont look around us.When we start to being more present and aware,we will find the love thats waiting for us when we are ready.Love is always ready for you but you must be ready for love:)

photo courtesy of razvan ionut 

DO YOU PREFER A GUY TO PAY ON THE FIRST DATE?

BY CYNAID CREE
I still remember the day when my friend texted me while I was doing my hair.She was frantically upset,although i couldn't understand why.Two weeks ago she was going on about how much she liked this guy.He was sweet,interested in all she had to say.She was physically attracted to him.He seemed like an educated guy, equal to her that matched what she was looking for.No she was not looking for a super rich man but someone that was just as hard working as her.

They just went out for drinks,but that evening determined whether that date would lead to the second or not.Apparently after the drinks the bill sat on the table.The bill was R25 ,so is that like about $2 each?.So guess what this great guy said,"heres my R12.50".My friend just looked at him in utter shock.She gave him her R14.50 with tip and said she's tired,she'd like to go home.I think he wanted to go somewhere else after that to a club but a simple mistake ruined the whole night.

My opinion on the whole thing.I was upset for him doing that.He could have just paid the bill as it was just R25.My friend said she would have paid the full amount herself but because she was upset by his actions,she paid her dues and wanted to get the hell out of there which ruined the mood for the relationship to follow.I do realize women want to be seen as equals but if women took all responsibility, what is there left for a man to own.Personally I don't mind paying my way wherever I go,but if you're going to buy your own flowers and chocolates on your birthday or valentines day,all the money in the world cant give you the same feeling when you get these gifts from true act of kindness and love.So guys remember that women can take care of themselves but we really like a guy being THE guy too.I do believe a lady that works hard will split the bills with you,but making a move like asking to split the bill on the first date just ruins your chances of a great relationship.I think table manners a guy should own it all,but I do give caution to the gold-diggers that take advantage of well mannered men.Go out for drinks,if the second date gets out of control guys you know she is a gold-digger so stop there.But if you meet a great lady,be table manner ready,all good women deserve it.:)

photo courtesy by photostock

WOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR RELIGION FOR SOMEONE YOU LOVE?

BY CYNAID CREE
I heard this question being asked to one of the miss universe finalists.I waited in awe to hear which part of it resonated with me.I then asked myself the same question and this was my thoughts on it.

I immediately would say yes.Love is found in all things even if it was disguised with religion.Sometimes I think God would want us to see that,if there was no such thing as religion would you still love me ?would you still miss me when I'm gone , no matter what my relgion were.Of course yes.If God pretended to be someone else would you love him?or would you love God only when you knew it was God.I dont even think God would want us to live loving people only after been told who or what they were.

Then I had another thought.It all depended if the religion I chose complimented me.Religion in the past had a strict protocol of how you should act and behave and everything was known to be taboo.Religion had made it difficult for people to be together because it made you choose your family over Love.Religion has evolved and has made exceptions for culture as people and lifestyles have evolved too.If it was a religion that allowed me to be my true authentic self then I would change for love.I would still be me,just following another path  to God.Spirituality has had a strong presence in society too where religion overlaps and allows all people to come on to the same path.Its very much like different roads leading to one highway.I really enjoy spirituality because it allows me to share my views and understand other religions too which forms a common ground and helps one to being more open to Love than just labeling people as Religion.

But why does it matter?Why should religion stop two people that love each other from not been together.Our hearts are big enough to love two at the same time that is one GOD and the partner that we are blessed with.Its like asking which child do you love the most?Would you choose between your children?God doesn't say that you have to choose.I think he says Love me and whoever you want to love that makes you happy too.As much as religion plays an important role in shaping society,I think many times we detour from OUR own truths in our hearts.God makes it very clear and puts these obstacles in our way so that we stare at our own truth in its face and deal with feelings that block our own happiness.We all create excuses in our lives and live a life half lived,when we had the chance to feel and experience the real deal.

The most important thing when choosing LOVE is not really religion but how happy you are when you are with this person.Are you your true self?Are you living your life the way you were meant to live with this person.We are all meant to be the better versions of ourselves.If anyone can bring out the best you,then no matter what their religion,they were meant to go on this journey with you.

Photo courtesy of Sura Nualpradid