WHY MEN HATE WOMEN WHO GOSSIP?

BY CYNAID CREE

What makes us attractive women?It's not only based on what we look like.Many times men love who we really are.I was reading Eckhart Tolle's A NEW EARTH, and came across this passage which fits perfectly with why women feel the need to gossip.Gossiping is what all women love but when does it start to be an unattractive thing for men?A woman has two parts to her,the attractive intellectual self and the egotistical self.Many men are attracted to the attractive intellectual self of a woman.Who is this egotistical self of a woman that feels the need to talk about and find a complaint on anything and everything.Women who find the need to complain and gossip is usually using more of their egostical self than their real self.Men hate women who do this as they project it as who they really are which women dont realize it.We all know our mothers,sisters and best friends,we love them dearly yet other people cant stand them.Ever wondered why?Its their egotistical self ,their exterior self that they project in their workplace,to their female co-workers and friends.Men dont like cattiness nor do they find this trait attractive in women.The true self of a woman is the self that they let their partners in on.How can a woman who gossips be loved by any man?This is the self that they show only to people they love.What is the solution,to stop gossiping,when you stop gossiping,you silence your ego self who says how dare you be better than me and beat my sales,how dare you look better than me,how dare you have a boyfriend yet im still single,what about me me me?This is true for celebrities too.Who we think they ought to be is not who they are,they have their acting self  and then their real self.Many women want to be with the attention of who they are as a public celebrity figure,but not their real self.How sad is that.

Why women should stop gossiping.It serves no one a purpose.When you become real,the world of love and opportunities opens up to you.Read the extract from A NEW EARTH which will help you identify the real me self vs the ego self



THE EGO'S NEED TO FEEL SUPERIOR

"There are many subtle but easily overlooked forms of ego that you

may observe in other people and, more important, in yourself. Remember:

The moment you become aware of the ego in yourself, that emerging

awareness is who you are beyond ego, the deeper “I.” The recognition of the

false is already the arising of the real.

For example, you are about to tell someone the news of what

happened. “Guess what? You don't know yet? Let me tell you.” If you are

alert enough, present enough, you may be able to detect a momentary sense

of satisfaction within yourself just before imparting the news, even if it is bad

news. It is due to the fact that for a brief moment there is, in the eyes of the

ego, an imbalance in your favor between you and the other person. For that

brief moment, you know more than the other. The satisfaction that you feel is

of the ego, and it is derived from feeling a stronger sense of self relative to

the other person. Even if he or she is the president or the pope, you feel

superior in that moment because you know more. Many people are addicted

to gossiping partly for this reason. In addition, gossiping often carries an

element of malicious criticism and judgment of others, and so it also

strengthens the ego through the implied but imagined moral superiority that

is there whenever you apply a negative judgment to anyone.

If someone has more, knows more, or can do more than I, the ego

feels threatened because the feeling of “less” diminishes its imagined sense

of self relative to the other. It may then try to restore itself by somehow

diminishing, criticizing, or belittling the value of the other person's

possessions, knowledge, or abilities. Or the ego may shift its strategy, and

instead of competing with the other person, it will enhance itself by

association with that person, if he or she is important in the eyes of others.

EGO AND FAME

The wellknown

phenomenon of “name dropping,” the casual mention

of who you know, is part of the ego's strategy of gaining a superior identity

in the eyes of others and therefore in its own eyes through association with

someone “important.” The bane of being famous in this world is that who

you are becomes totally obscured by a collective mental image. Most people

you meet want to enhance their identity – the mental image of who they are

– through association with you. They themselves may not know that they are

not interested in you at all but only in strengthening their ultimately fictitious

sense of self. They believe that through you they can be more. They are

looking to complete themselves through you, or rather through the mental

image they have of you as a famous person, a largerthanlife

collective

conceptual identity.The absurd overvaluation of fame is just one of the many

manifestations of egoic madness in our world. Some famous people fall into

the same error and identify with the collective fiction, the image people and

the media have created of them, and they begin to actually see themselves as

superior to ordinary mortals. As a result, they become more and more

alienated from themselves and others, more and more unhappy, more and

more dependent on their continuing popularity. Surrounded only by people

who feed their inflated selfimage,they become incapable of genuine relationships.

Albert Einstein, who was admired as almost superhuman and whose

fate it was to become one of the most famous people on the planet, never

identified with the image the collective mind had created of him. He

remained humble, egoless. In fact, he spoke of “a grotesque contradiction

between what people consider to be my achievements and abilities and the

reality of who I am and what I am capable of.”5

This is why it is hard for a famous person to be in a genuine

relationship with others. A genuine relationship is one that is not dominated

by the ego with its imagemaking and selfseeking.

In a genuine relationship,there is an outward flow of open, alert attention toward the other person in

which there is no wanting whatsoever. That alert attention is Presence. It is

the prerequisite of any authentic relationship. The ego always either wants

something, or if it believes there is nothing to get from the other, it is in a

state of utter indifference: It doesn't care about you. And so, the three

predominant states of egoic relationship are: wanting, thwarted wanting(anger, resentment, blaming, complaining), and indifference."

PHOTO COURTESY by <p><a href="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2664">Image: Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net</a></p>