THE CARS:DRIVE

The Cars:Drive
By Cynaid Cree

I was sitting having lunch watching bits and pieces of the sitcom ''Everybody Hates Chris''
Then this song came on that I absolutely loved.I used to hear it always on the radio but I never knew who was the artist.A day passed by and thinking I could remember the lyrics and finally search for it which I could not.I started searching for the episodes of ''Everybody hates Chris'' just to find it.I ended up watching the wrong episode and never found it all.I told my sister that It was driving me crazy not knowing who the artist or title of that song was.

She started searching the internet .She watched the same episode as me, that she also thought it was on.
Then we went for an episode before that.We watched the whole episode and at last at the very end we heard the song.We got very excited coming to the end of our mission..lol.Still we didn't know the title and started singing out t the lyrics to search for this title and try to see if we found anything.TA-DAH!!!

The artist was ''The Cars'' with the Title ''Drive''
Now when you hear this song,it will certainly take you to another dimension.The lyrics are very powerful and I tried searching everybody's take on the song because the video is very confusing.Its about someone going through a drinking addiction by the''happy hour'' sign in the video and experiencing withdrawal symptoms or it could be Schizophrenia.
                                                                            
                                                                        "Drive"

who's gonna tell you when
it's too late
who's gonna tell you things
aren't so great
you can't go on
thinking nothing's wrong
who's gonna drive you home tonight

who's gonna pick you up
when you fall
who's gonna hang it up
when you call
who's gonna pay attention
to your dreams
who's gonna plug their ears
when you scream

you can't go on
thinking nothing's wrong
who's gonna drive you home tonight

who's gonna hold you down
when you shake
who's gonna come around
when you break

I think music is there to inspire you and you can interpret it however you wish.
The lyrics are very powerful and for me without seeing the video.My interpretation is about relationships and not taking it for granted.You cannot go through life alone.It does not have to be a romantic relationship but relationships with people in our lives are very important.There is always going to be one or a few people that are put into our life to make us stronger individuals.Sometimes we face very hard obstacles that we cannot process on our own and we do need the advice and help of other important people that helps us to come to the decisions in our lives.To me the lyrics simply mean ''You cant go on'' meaning you cant go along in life making bad decisions and thinking it wont come back to bite you.In this song to me somebody is reminding you the value of them being in your life.Who is going to be there worrying about you if they are not the ones worrying about you.In the moment you cannot see clearly what you really have or want.We all need that person to come home to,to tell you how was their day,to ask you how was your day . A person genuinely concerned for somebody Else's well being.We all need somebody to help pick us up when our world is falling down.Every person needs the strength of another person.These important people are in our lives to listen to our dreams and help our dreams come true.These special people are the people in your life when you are that nobody before you come to that ''somebody'' in life.These people are our reminder and balance in life.In the times when the pressures of life are too much,we need somebody to confide in and somebody's embrace to cry in.We also need that person when we go through a nervous breakdown in life.
This song is a powerful reminder of all the people that stand by your side.So appreciate those relationships,stay loyal and be the strength to somebody else and these attributes is what we are here on earth for.Being there for each other through our learning in this life.Life is a beautiful experience more so when we have beautiful people around us taking each step the good and the bad together.

I would love to hear your interpretation of the song or experience.Drop me a comment.
The comments are moderated to prevent spam but I still get them

GET RIGHT OR GET LEFT

By Cynaid Cree

A powerful message to get on track in your relationships.

BREAKING YOUR OWN HEART PART 2

By Cynaid Cree
Here is the second part of the video,Breaking your own heart part 2

BREAKING YOUR OWN HEART PART 1

By Cynaid Cree

I came across this powerful video that I wanted to share with you all.

WILL YOU REMEMBER NOT TO FORGET ME?

BY CYNAID CREE

What would you do if the person you spent all your life loving  wakes up one day and does not remember you anymore.Did you ever make a vow to your partner if one day I forget you,remind me why I should not forget and give up?What would you do if they dont remember how you met or what it was like to fall in love.What would you do if all your silly moments could not be remembered.How do you make someone fall in love with you again when you seem like a complete stranger to them.All the years of sweet communication is dust.Your partner looks at you with new inquisitive blunt eyes.The stare hardens your heart to think that someone you loved so much means absolutely nothing to them as they go on with their day trying to put the pieces back together giving you blank stares that lacks love.There is no relationship anymore and the union of a perfect marriage is over.How would you handle such a situation if it really happened.Luckily what Im saying is the storyline of a movie that I watched this week called ''THE VOW''

If you ever want to know what love is and how to go about it in life,you should definitely watch this movie.It will show you that when tragedy strikes,its these events that it puts your life into perspective.If you watched this movie you would then realize that there is no need to wait for tragedy to strike and that if we live consciously in the now as if it was the last, we would not be so easily persuaded to give up no matter how hard life got and what challenges stood before us.

 photo:google images

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT GIVE UP ON LOVE

BY CYNAID CREE
Over these past few weeks I have come across movies,and sayings on not giving up on love.We talk so much about love but I don't think we all stop to really look at love.Love is the reason why we all are here.Love is the reason why we exist,love is the reason why we go after our passions.Love is also the reason that gives us our new families that has been created from Love.Most people get into relationships but don't honour the commitment of love.

Yesterday I went for a wedding and  the priest iniating the wedding ceremony went into details of the importance of the vows one makes to another.He went on to say that a woman or female is holy and if you grow up respecting your mother then you will understand why it is important to respect your wife.If you do not respect your mother,and treat her as your doormat you will not respect your wife and treat her in the same way.Your partner is your equal and together you are one.You are a union.The combination of 1+1=2 but when you look at 2 souls that come together and share a journey together,two paths now become one1+1=1.Love has no religion,and although this was what a priest was saying ,his words was honest and genuine and very true and surpassed me as something relgious.Many people say the vows,but are not spiritually connected to it.Marriage is not easy and it takes time for 2 souls to understand each other yet alone live with each other.Love is growing with each other through all the difficulties of life.This is why one should not give up on love.In our challenges in love and marriage,we should honour our vows and promises that will guide us in the correct path.During thoughts of infidelity's,there is always a conscience  that is asking us questions if what we are doing now will make us regret or be proud of tomorrow.If everyday you question the reactions of actions you wont stray from your path.Sometimes stress of life can take a toll on a person and change their moods which causes one to lash out against their loved ones or do something that could damage a relationship with no repair.Trust and respect which is the most important ingrediants to a happy relationship will not cause you to give up on love.Real love does not come easy and those who do not give up on love, really do love with all their heart and is what an example of real love is.It is through difficulties that is needed.that sometimes  help to show you, your own individual strengths and accomplishments in your relationships.People who go on to love, helping each other through their own weaknessess is to be commended on their bravery in Love.Yesterday I watched this movie called,the lost valentine starring Betty White of how she dealt with Love and how she didnt give up on love either.Love always deserves a chance like a growing tree.When you plant the seeds today,you cant expect a beautiful blooming tree tomorrow.Love is the same,it needs lots of patience,nurturing and love in order to see results.Before you decide to give up on love,look at yourself and ask yourself if you have respected your other half that you chose on this journey with you enough.Have you tried been kind to yourself and then others.If you want kindness to touch your heart you have to be giving it in bundles before you can receive it too.Like always attract like,and anger and hatred attracts the same.Actions towards us is first actions towards others Emotions is always a mirror reflection of what we give out first.If you give out love, love attracts love and there would be no reason on why you would be needing to give up on love

photo courtesy by FEELART

WILL MARRIAGE EXIST IN THE FAR FUTURE?

BY CYNAID CREE
Many people get married and dream to get married because their parents did and their grandparents did.A long time ago marriage meant that you was going to be a wife and mother, and take care of your household,Now marriage does not hold the same view.Now couples are marrying much later in their lives.A man or a woman will share household duties,share taking care of the kids and both a man and a woman work and share the bills.Marriage used to be more a customary thing,but now marriage is a law thing and compulsory in getting a town house and qualifies entry on asset purchases.In some countries marriages is not necessary.Just living with someone qualifies them in receiving support if they wish to separate and need spousal support if children are involved.
                                       

Lets look more about the defintions and types of marriage
The word "marriage" derives from Middle English mariage, which first appears in 1250–1300 CE This in turn is derived from Old French marier (to marry) and ultimately Latin marītāre meaning to provide with a husband or wife and marītāri meaning to get married. (The adjective marīt-us -a, -um meaning matrimonial or nuptial could also be used in the masculine form as a noun for "husband" and in the feminine form for "wife

People marry for many reasons, including: legal, social, being in love, libidinal, emotional, financial, spiritual, and religious. Marriages can be performed in a secular civil ceremony or in a religious setting. The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved. Some cultures allow the dissolution of marriage through divorce or annulment. Polygamous marriages may also occur in spite of national laws.
Marriage can be recognized by a state, an organization, a religious authority, a tribal group, a local community or peers. It is often viewed as a contract. Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution irrespective of religious affiliation, in accordance with marriage laws of the jurisdiction. Forced marriages are illegal in some jurisdictions

I doubt marriage will exist in the far future if so just a minority.It will be a culture shock to those of us that are already married or plan to.Due to expensive divorces people are looking into alternate planning to look after their nest egg that they built for themselves.I often wonder how the world will be from now and often think people wont place that much emphasis in getting married.I also think many people will retain their surnames as more people  become professionals eg,doctors and lawyers or even entertainment.Most professionals  wait much later to get married and are not married when they have practices and prefer to keep their identity and have separate bank accounts than joint accounts.People getting married are just adding on their partners surname to their existing surname as not to lose their identity which they had before they got married.There is some people that take on their husbands surname as their own personal preference but I do think in the far future keeping your own name will be a norm.Visit the link worldwide traditions which gives an insight into the different types of wedding traditions around the world.I think the traditional aspect of the weddings and cultures incorporated into a union will exist but not a legal binding document of marriage in the future.

 

 

 

PHOTO COURTESY BY:VICHIE 81

http://www.worldweddingtraditions.com/

DOES LOVE HAVE A TIMING?

BY CYNAID CREE

We all go through life wondering when the ''right one'' will enter our lives.We spend all our teenage years and young adult lives wondering about this very question.Wouldn't it be nice, if there was no heartaches and heartbreaks wondering if the relationship you are in, is right for you and whether two people are doing the right thing in their lives when they do find each other.It would save alot of time and there would be less divorces in the world.
Last week I came across a movie called ''TIMER''.The sypnosis however if true oh what a wonderful aid that would be!!!!!!.A clock on your wrist that goes off when you meet the one:)

''What if a clock could count down to the moment you meet your soul mate? In this alternate version of present day Los Angeles, a revolutionary device called the TiMER fulfills this very fantasy. For a reasonable installation fee and a moderate monthly charge, a TiMER is implanted in the wrist and promises to accurately display the number of days, hours, minutes and seconds until the owners date with destiny. However, things arent so easy for Oona OLeary (EMMA CAULFIELD, Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Oona faces the rare dilemma of a blank TiMER; her soul mate—whoever and wherever he is—doesnt have a TiMER. While her family and friends move through life with predetermined romantic fates, Oona searches for her perfect match via the process of elimination, tentatively dating TiMER—less men, but never getting emotionally invested. Often, Oona even convinces her suitors to get TiMERs, only to have her hopes crushed time and time again. Staring down the barrel of thirty and tired of waiting for her would—be life partner to get off the dime, Oona breaks her own rules and falls for Mikey (JOHN PATRICK AMEDORI, Gossip Girl), a charming and inappropriately young supermarket clerk with a countdown of four months. But what will happen when those four months are up? Only when Oona ignores the ticking clock can she finally experience the exhilarating and unpredictable hot mess that is love.''

I thoroughly enjoyed this movie but not the ending so much because it ended abruptly and I was like and???????

Do watch it,it at least it gives you hope that maybe one day some gadget like this could exist and its really exciting to watch when the timer goes off,makes you feel like you could have one of those too,to accurately tell you, who belongs to you 

photo courtesy:DIGITAL ART

HOW DO I KNOW WHAT TYPE OF PERSON TO DATE?

BY CYNAID CREE

I'm thinking to when I was back in school looking around me, at the types of people that sat around me.There was the intelligent people aiming for straight A's and would only associate themselves with people of their own kind.Those are the people will tell you that x+x=x2 because its a proven theory.They were the rational A students.Then I look to the other side and theres the class clowns looking for an opportunity to disrupt the lesson .Their main aim was getting attention, and they didn't have any future goals set in stone.They take every day as it comes.On my far left there's the nerdy ,err not so nerdy computer whizz kids who will prove to you that
 x+x= something more than x2...a new theory and formula that could change the future dynamics of how we process things..On my right theres the ''I tried my best'' group.The hard working people always doing their homework,not necessarily the straight A's,B'S and C's but a little bit of all them.Behind me theres the group just not interested in school failing all their subjects,bunking school,but will wow you because they are extraordinary, and will achieve an A+ in the arts, but fail school.Lets not forget the popular group.They are known just for been beautiful.They get people to do their homework,everybody wants to be around them,they just fly through school thanks to their looks.Part of that group, are the hot girl,bad boy where you just float through school hoping they would just notice you.There's a group I almost forgot to mention which are the quiet shy group,they are the ones that will do homework for others and everybody, that can come into contact with them.They say yes to everybody and will do anything, anybody wants.They hardly have the courage to say no.Hmm now the pool of love has many choices, which one of these people would you rather date?
*A technological whizz creating for the future
*A rational ,straight forward person in the now
*A hard worker at everything
*A physically beautiful bad boy,bad girl
*The sweet shy yes to everybody people
*A funny person  that lives each day as it comes
*A person who failed at everything except one thing which they do brilliantly

While sitting in class I noticed all of these people,but especially for me,I enjoyed talking to people that made me laugh,not necessarily the clowns of the class but the sweet shy ones.Sweet people can be funny too.Their physical looks didn't matter to me.I was really more impressed with their kindness.As I move away from that time and come back to 2012,I find that I have really not changed so much.My experiences have made me wiser but I still am very impressed by and attracted to kind people in all my business and personal relationships.There is a saying that we need to treat people the way we want to be treated.So I guess if you treat people like shit,one day or another shit will come back to you.I live every day reminding myself to be kind to others,as I have remembered all the people that I have came into contact with that, showed me kindness.Although I am not in contact with some people because I wouldn't know what happened to them after college,I sure never have forgotten them.Every now and then they do cross my mind,and I say that was a nice person.

I was watching a BBC series''HOW WE MADE OUR MILLIONS''.A guy by the name of Richard Reed who is CEO and co-founder of a smoothie company ''INNOCENT'' drinks goes on saying that '' the first year he was coming out 44th out of 45 in his class exams,second year he came out 17th  in the class exams and his mum always told him he could do better than that.When I look at this guy he fits into every category,he is creating for the future,straight forward in the now,a hard worker at everything,physically attractive,sweet and probably a yes person to every situation,he sure lives everyday as it comes,he used to fail but now does things brilliantly.Quite a jack in the box and that's how you become an entrepreneur and a recipe for making millions.I don't think everybody will be multi-dimensional like this and there is no rules on who we choose,but we all definitely can strive to be better at anything we do including love.There is a specific trait that will appeal to you about the type of person you choose,that you will be attracted to.Just remember that while you are doing it,don't dismiss anybody in your sights when they appeal ''normal'' because one day they could be the next Bill Gates,President Obama,Richard Branson,Brad Pitt,Ellen Degeneres(what a pun to generous)or Richard Reed and you wish you was kinder to them before it all happened.

WOULD YOU DATE AN OLDER OLDER MAN?

BY CYNAID CREE
Most women opt for an older guy but how much of the basic answer we hear about women dating older men'' he take cares of me is...
*He has money to take care of all my needs VS
*He provides emotional support and cares for me being already mature

There has been many women opting for older men because he is financially stable.I often wonder which part of a man a woman is attracted to.Not all women rely on men to take care of all their needs.Some women are very independent and run their own successful businesses or work and have their own titles for the companies they work for.On the other hand there is some women who will tell you they look for older men so that they don't need to work so hard so that they can stay at home and concentrate on being beautiful.I did some research and fine tuned this question to get answers as to why some women prefer an older man.The PROS and CONS below are not my views but from real people of the real reasons why women prefer older men

PROS OF DATING AN OLDER MAN
*They are more experienced
*Older men treat women with more respect
*More mature and intelligent than young men
*They are patient with you in every department
*Older men don't waste your time and are ready to give you what you want
*They are supportive
*He's not hanging in the clubs looking at another woman
*He gets the bill every time and doesn't worry about splitting the bill or what the meal costs every time you  go out

CONS OF DATING AN OLDER MAN
*Some older men can be controlling
*Some older men think they can buy you
*They could already be married
*Divorced with children without disclosing that information to you
*You could lead a double life not knowing until its too late
*They can drop you as soon as they get you,trade you in like a car for a newer model
*They are not always ready to go through something twice when you want to the first time around,eg  marriage ,children
*He has too much baggage,ex issues etc

Other good read from madamenoire.com

A few weeks ago, a conversation emerged on my Twitter timeline discussing whether or not black women should seek older men for dating and relationships. Many young women may hold the belief that an older man will be more established in his career, more protective and eager to settle down with one woman. Yet, as someone who has dated older, I now know this is not always the case.  There are a few major differences in the way that older men do things that any young black woman should respectfully consider before embarking on a May-December romance.

One of the first factors a woman should weigh is that an older man may not be as mature as she might assume him to be.  The general assumption is that a man of a certain age will be very mature, what with the assumption that he’s gotten all of the partying and “playing” out of his system. A man should be judged individually for what emotional and mental state he presently is in, not for where society dictates he should be at a certain age. My experience has taught me that there are plenty of men who are well into their 30s and 40s who still possess the behavioral traits of an early-20 something, college-campus playboy.  Unless you are looking for a fun and light partnership, such a man – regardless of age – is not the type to pick when ready to settle into a serious relationship. Trust, the old saying, “with age comes wisdom” does not apply to everyone. More or less, the experiences of a man can be what makes him more mature, or what has him getting his Benjamin Button on behavior-wise.

On that note, another major difference that is sure to arise is the large gap in life experiences. Although, a young lady may feel as if she is too mature for men her age, her lack of experience will more than likely cause her to come off as young, inexperienced and even immature in front of an older man. Let’s face it: the things we experience by the time we are in our mid-20s will pale in comparison to the journeys and obstacles we will have endured 10-20 years down the line. A woman in her 20s can only act as what she is – a young adult, no matter how mature she is. Such a difference in life experiences can prove to be thrilling at first. He may be invigorated by her youth, while she is enthralled and inspired by his background and knowledge. But the very things that may cause a strong connection, may threaten it. The power dynamic may be more tipped in the man’s favor due to his array of experiences and age. Being older, the man may be more grounded in his beliefs and habits, being less likely to change them; regardless of how they may affect his partner. The younger woman, on the other hand, may grow weary of the adviser role the man may assume, feeling as if he is being more condescending than mentoring, more stubborn than willing to compromise.
Lastly, a woman should consider if she is ready for what she is asking for in a relationship with an older man. She may feel as if she is ready to settle down, when in actuality that may be the farthest thing she needs, and even understands. An older man may be at the point in his life where he is ready to find a wife – and not just a girlfriend. He may be hoping to get married in a couple of years, with babies soon to follow. A younger woman must really ask herself if she is truly ready to experience such life changing events, and willing to give to her significant other what he is asking for. On the other hand, there are some older men who have already been married and have children, and may not wish to have anymore, or go through the experience a second time around. Because of that, they might want to take things at a snail’s pace. A young woman should weigh whether or not she is ready to make such definite decisions that may affect the rest of her life and alter plans she’s had for herself.

I am, by no means, slamming or demonizing May-December relationships. As I have learned in the past, they can be both thrilling and daunting, and some can be a big success. It all depends on the guy. With more and more articles continuing to question the marriageability of black women, I understand why some may look at men they may not have considered before. And I do advocate for women to keep their choices open as love is such an indiscriminate force. However, I do ask that we keep our heads leveled when trying something new, especially when picking mates who are more seasoned than us.

PHOTO COURTESY BY: PHOTOSTOCK

LOVE HURTS

BY CYNAID CREE

Concerning Love,the bad will always happen,but the only way to fix a broken heart is one piece at a time no matter if it is a break up,divorce or death.The only way to heal pain is to bring back the joy in your life.Start doing things that you fear the most and you wont fear anything anymore.Learn to confront your fears so that you can take back control of your life.Once you confront fears,you are in the clear of  doing all the things you love again.

Pain can hurt so much that you can never see beyond your present emotions and situations.Its like being in front of a brick wall.You also cannot be happy in the future if you do not deal with your emotions or pain in the present moment.This time is sincerely hard.You feel like you are all alone in a blackened out room.As you look beyond your pain and grief,taking each day as it comes you will start to see a tiny beacon of light again in that blackened room with you.Every day does become better and that light will shine and become brighter and stronger, and remember that whether its break up,divorce or death all pain feels the same.At some point we go through all types of pain and get to experience it.Time truly does heal believe it or not,but eveyone heals at different times in their lives.Many things are terrible but a blessing in disguise.Remember without night we cant see the day,in order for us to see a new day we need to embrace the night,the same goes with relationships,sometimes you have to go through many relationships before you become ready for the right one.Sometimes those right relationships can be delayed until the universe knows you are truly ready to receive it.Even after the death of a loved one,Love does not end there.So although we loved and feel hurt,our hearts can heal and still love again.Thank the universe for that relationship because it has given you wisdom on how to appreciate and receive the next one.The choice is always yours on the relationships you wish to receive.

Theres a song I really like,no matter which century a person gets the opportunity to listen to it and understand the lyrics,Its one of the best songs describing what hurt can feel like.It also talks about how hurt can teach you many things.

Love hurts,  Love scars,
Love wounds and marks
Any heart not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud, it holds a lot of rain
Love hurts,
Ooo-oo love hurts

I'm young,
I know,
But even so
I know a thing or two, I learned from you
I really learned a lot, really learned a lot
Love is like a flame It burns you when it's hot
Love hurts,
Ooo-oo love hurts

Some fools think
Of happiness, blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves, I guess
They're not foolin' me
I know it isn't true I know it isn't true
Love is just a lie made to make you blue
Love hurts,
Ooo-oo love hurts

I know it isn't true
I know it isn't true
Love is just a lie made to make you blue
Love hurts,
Ooo-oo love hurts
Ooo-oo, love hurts, Ooo-oo


photo courtesy:by Idea go

ARE YOU BEEN TAKEN ADVANTAGED OF?

BY CYNAID CREE

We all have been taken advantaged of at some point in our lives.Sometimes we let it go but when can you risk putting yourself in a bad relationship, only to realize later on in marriage that your partner takes you for granted.There are many sweet people that helped pick up the broken pieces of a relationship,perhaps formed a relationship with someone after they had been dumped,ended up pregnant or something similar along the line and helped put some grace back into shame .Although there is nothing wrong with helping someone to recovery,but you sure dont want to be just somebodys rebound guy or girl.Your needs also need to be met.

Sweet people have to learn to be more assertive to how they want to be treated because people only treat you how you want them to treat you.If you walk into a restaurant and they keep serving you stale or cold food and you never complain or talk to the manger about your dissapointments,the restaurant will always be serving you stale or cold food.Nobody is saying you have to cause a scene and cause all the people to run out but you do need to address your concerns as you are paying for the meal.Someone who is too nice and too sweet will be thinking I dont want to upset them or hurt their feelings because I come here all the time.

There is some men and women that have taken advantaged of their partners and the victims become more like housekeepers or financers or babysitters instead of a partner.They soon end up in a loveless marriage while they partners are busy cheating out of the home.These incidents happen often because some sweet partners are too allowing,to considerate and too helpful and choose to do everything thats asked instead of stressing their dissapointment and anger.By Stressing your feelings in the beginning of your relationship you show your assertiveness and then nobody can take advantage of you.It takes two people to work in a relationship and marriage and no one person should be doing all the work.

So if you are a passive person and feeling taken advantage of:
1)Learn to slowly stress your concerns of a relationship
2)Learn to be frank or upfront but in a non confrontational/angry way
3)Try to start a new relationship instead of picking up the pieces of somebody elses.For passive    people this can be highly stressfull and takes alot of energy to maintain.Passive people are quite rational people and hardly find themselves in trouble.Chances are if you pick up the pieces of another relationship,your partner could find themselves in another situation for you to keep bailing them out.
4)Respect yourself so that others can gain your respect before you comitt to anything
5)Dont be too trusting in everything you hear
6)Take your time to understand people and situations before to start helping anybody.
7)Look for re-occuring patterns of others to not get suckered into their stories.

CAN YOU BE IN LOVE WITH TWO PEOPLE?

BY CYNAID CREE
Last Night I caught a glimpse of the finale of THE BACHELORETTE.With so many seasons I often wonder if people have found true love on the show.As you know that love cannnot be determined in 30  days or a season.I found it hard to understand if Love was really happening or was it infatuation on the series as many of the luxuries were sponsored.When you look at real relationships,we are not been whisked away everyday on romantic destinations.You know the saying " when life gives you lemons,make lemonade".Its in these times that mostly help you discover who you are ,and the person that best is suited for you.There will be more days when life will give you lemons and I think we need to know more how to communicate on these days than the rosy romantic days.

On a past post I wrote about"If opposites attract?".Sometimes we look for people that are similar to us and think that maybe, they best compliment us.I can understand why on THE BACHELORETTE,the contestant chose someone that was opposite to her.We need people to balance us.If there is someone like us,they too are seeking for someone to balance them.Over time relationships can fail because , 2 people with similar traits, competing for whatever it is they are seeking.There is no way of explaining it but opposite relationships are rewarding because one is the teacher and the other the student and then the roles reverse.At all times you both are growing and learning from each other.

So coming back to the question.Can you be in Love with two people?,yes you can be in love with two people.Hopefully you are not confusing Love with infatuation and Lust and definitely not when you are already married.Love is rewarding and all love is different.I am sure you have dated people and found out what where the things you liked about someone.However if you are not in that relationship anymore,perhaps you were craving the knowledge from learning something new and you couldnt evolve anymore with a person.Sometimes relationships fail because people fail to remind each other of the Love they first started to have for each other.

When you're in Love with two people,you eventually have to weigh down  the person with the most positives in order to choose.I am hoping you are looking for:
1)Is the person Caring?
2)Is the person honest?
3)Can this person sail some storms with  you?We all need some storms to help us decide.
4)Is this person helpful?
5)Do they support your dreams?
6)Can they sacrifice things in their life for you?
7)Do they contribute financially with you for a comfortable life
8)Do they spoil you?This is not a must ,but we all need this from time to time when money allows, to remind each other the love we have for them.

PHOTO COURTESY
www.freebievectors.com/

DOES YOUR OTHER HALF STAND BY YOUR FAILURES?

BY CYNAID CREE

I just watched Julie and Julia starring Meryl Streep on TV the other day.Its one of those movies that you have to tell someone else about.Sometimes theres movies we go out to watch but you never know just by looking athe movie poster,that after watching it you will feel more inspired than ever.

We all have been in a job with a dead beat boss,with an average life of just living to work,pay bills and repeat for a lifetime.Although this movie is about 1 person being inspired to cook 300 something recipes by a deadline out of a well known cookbook,this movie teaches you so much more about your life,the other half of you"him" thats very important in your life standing by your failures as well as your success.It teaches you about dreams and its okay to have one.It teaches you about self-...

discipline,learning to complete the tasks that you start out in your life,all of which is pretty awesome if I have to say so for myself.

I learned that its okay when your life does not exactly match your friends and their success.We all get there one day or another.I also learnt that you dont have to be a chef but in your lifetime its very important to know how to cook,Its just like getting your licence,its the vehicle to survive hunger and a reminder to what home always smells like.It definitely makes a house a home

You have to watch it to experience it all.I can write out the whole movie here but it just wont be the same..and I hope you do:)

photo courtesy by digital art

ARE YOU SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ON YOURSELF?

BY CYNAID CREE
You might think that theres no such thing as spending too much time on yourself,and I believe that if you take good care of yourself then you can care better for others.Although that is true but if you are in a relationship sometimes its hard to see when we are over doing it just a tad.

I highlighted the Blue as the guy and Pink as the girl.Now this is just a example of two people who live with each other and how they manage their week.Nobody really writes down what they will be doing in a week except business meetings. In order to have a balanced relationship its nice to experiment and do this excercise for a month.Its more of a personal test on how much time you spend doing your things,how much time your partner spends doing his/ her things and how much time you both spend doing things together.Its always nice to know on average what you most spend your time on and what you need to focus on time puting towards.On your calendar that you both can share,write down your activties and everything else that consumes your time.From looking at the example above you can see the guy spends alot of time being busy and the girl just twice in the week.Just by looking at it they both didnt have plans to spend together.In a relationship that can be bad when we spend too much time on things we want to do.Although I think its important to have your own interests it is important to make time for each other.We have to learn to make time for each other.If we allow time to consume us then we may never be able to realize it and only too late when the relationship has expired.If  this excercise has helped you,continue to use it so that it can help you keep a track of me time,your partner time and couple time.At least if any fights occur you have proof than one of you was spending too much time on themselves and helps put situations in a better perspective so the next time you can get a wild card to do whatever you want:)If this excercise has helped you,drop me a comment and let me know if it has helped you.

WHO IS CHANCE?

BY CYNAID CREE
Is there really such a thing as chance or do we just have the appearance of chance and everything is orchestrated to get us to the point of where we were meant to be?Did you ever lose your keys only to get so late that you were late for work but also missed a huge accident?.Did you get stuck in traffic only to realize that if it were not for the traffic you would have been killed in a terrorist attack?When I think about the September 911 incident I think about all the detours that were put in place so that the people who were meant to survive were delayed that day in various ways for some reason.

Last night I watched a movie on tv ''THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU'' starring Matt Damon and Emily Blunt.Totally magnificent movie,which is put in the SCI-FI THRILLER category.The Bureau is a group of people,I 'd like to think they are from another portal,maybe intelligent aliens that we cant really understand in this point in time, who adjusts events so that mistakes or accidents happen to alter the destinations or so called life paths of this 2 individuals.However they are willing to sacrifice all the plans that was pre-set for them just so that they can be together.Ok I just spoiled the ending for you but it s a great movie to get you thinking WHO IS CHANCE?Is chance God,Is chance our guardian angels,is chance just  coincidences,but how does a scene in our lives repeat itself so that at some time we are at the exact time in the exact place no matter where in the world we are to meet an important person so that it could complete the ''meeting".What we do with that meeting is entirely up to us but you cant help but wonder how hard ''CHANCE'' was working to clear the path so that a particular event could happen


Remember the movie BACK TO THE FUTURE when Michael J fox had to go back to the past to reset the events to help get his parents to meet.Several times it almost didnt happen.It makes you wonder how hard CHANCE tries so that if it does not happen the first time for some odd reason,the timing is re-orchestrated again so that 2 individuals can meet again of which we are unaware of.Michael J fox saw himself disappearing on the photograph and knew he had to get his parents together.It was a fighting task.So the next time you're complaining in traffic just calm down and think that maybe'' CHANCE'' is busy working their magic for someone else.

The great thing I've learned is that when we are willing to risk everything,fame,money just to live life and share it with someone else that we think has changed us for the better then life is so much more valued and worth living.If you listen to the stories of old people,its the only advice you'll need.When you get to that age,when you've been there,done that,seen and experienced life then the material way of life is a waste of time.Old people will tell you but you dont need to be old to realize it,you can start living right now and appreciating everything that comes your way:)I always say hugs and kisses are free,take it.

WOULD YOU JEOPARDISE A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP FOR A BRIEF FLING?

BY CYNAID CREE
Many couples came forward telling the the stories of how they had a brief fling only that it was too late to fix the relationship due to the trust factor that keeps re-surfacing.
Women tell that the only reason they take back a cheating husband is because of the children and they even opt for counseling,but once they try to mend the relationship,the trust factor at the back of your head is always there and so eventually the relationship does break apart because you live with a person you dont know anymore.

Men tell that they have flings only because of the sex and maybe they just get bored in their intimacy within the marriage because its not there anymore.It does not mean they dont love their wives.The wives dont agree and think that if you love someone you cant be that stupid to risk everything just for a brief moment of pleasure.Women also say that they too know when the intimacy decreases in their relationship.They would also want to have that in a relationship but when you start a family the responsibilties changes within a home.Its not that you dont want to make time for intimacy but cooking,cleaning and the kids can sometimes take away all your time and theres little time left for intimacy.Eric Anderson authour of THE MONOGAMY GAP:MEN LOVE AND THE REALITY OF CHEATING interviewed 120 men and discovered those who cheated did so because they were sexually bored and unsatisfied with having sex with one person.

If men who cheat,then their other reason was that they were not bored with the person but just bored in not having sexual variety.
Although men who end their affairs always get caught because the other woman always wants more and threatens his job,threatens to come clean with his wife or the wife eventually suspects her husbands strange behaviours.Most men are not open with the communication with their wives and think if they ask for more sexual intimacy,that this could upset their wives.Then theres the wives that dont take the gesture seriously and so the men stray.This should not be an excuse for straying though as I do believe women would also like more intimacy. If men can help with the kids,the cleaning or the cooking this can leave more time for couples to spend together and solving the problem of flings.Some Men do have the habit of coming home and expecting a spotless home,dinner on the table and kids already put to bed and still expect all the intimacy with that.Its nearly impossible to do all of it with a family of young kids.I do realize its an important factor in a happy marriage and women should realize it in their marriage and learn to ask for help and learn to request date nights during the week so that you dont lose the spark in your own relationship.

The thing about flings whether its a man or woman when someone has been unfaithful how can you not live in fear of them hurting you again.If someone has a thought of a fling in their mind they should think twice before they gamble away a good relationship that took years to build only to throw it away on one fling.Whereas a relationship that you invested love and time in,it only takes communication to help you realize what was missing or how you can add something again that you once had before.

photo courtesy:Simon Howden

DO OPPOSITES ATTRACT?

BY CYNAID CREE

When we think about our interests we sometimes think that the person who shares all our interests is the right person we should be seeking  a potential partner in.For years we have been looking in one direction only.I've come to realise that the most important thing when seeking a potential partner is having a healthy conversation.You don't need to be amazed or seem interested in all of your partner or future partners interests but engaging in some of it shows appreciation that their interests are important to you because they are important to you.When you come to think of it all people can be loving,kind,caring no matter what their interests are.The question of opposites attracting is merely based on  interests which we cannot form a basis on for all relationships.

When you look at the entire situation you will come to realise that we all form part of a smaller piece to a puzzle.When we use our interests and talents to help and compliment each other then we make for a happy relationship.Yes we do have a varying amount of interests.Having your own interests not only keeps you busy but it makes you YOU.Having your own interests not only keeps you happy and active but allows you the quality time to appreciate each other when you do spend time together.Sometimes the reason for opposites attracting is that unconsciously we seek to be more of what is missing in our so called DNA and so an introverted person who comes into contact with an extroverted person who will now be able to take on a new challenge that they might not have taken on their own and grow as a person.An opposite personality attracting will help create balance to what you need in your life.This also goes for an extrovert.If a person is zippy racing through life,they may not be able to see what they are doing,to stop and smell the roses once in a while.Only an introverted person will be able to show this person what they would have missed whilst becoming so busy doing anything and everything in sight.Meeting opposites does have success because our lifestyles becomes balanced and a healthy relationship is all about creating a healthy balance.This does not necessarily mean that we have to look for opposites because if extroverted or introverted people meet opposites and either one suggested something.They would probably think you want to change them and so it wont work for people who are stubborn.Creating balance happens gradually and when both people who have qualities of honesty,kindness and patience first,you can apply the rules of opposites and watch how you will grow and change positively in your relationship living a balanced lifestyle for each other.

photo courtesy:digitalart

DOES NOT HAVING A JOB AFFECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

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DOES LOVING LESS MAKE YOU STRONGER?

BY CYNAID CREE

When I sit in business meetings I often wonder if Love is very much like business deals.If you think about it,the people who are more firm or more confident and dont back down in a deal are usually the successful ones.The other party is usually surprised by your forcefulness and takes this as a strong person to take a chance on or taking a chance on something of what they dont know of what it is that will happen.Guess what I'm trying to say is that if you are not showing desperation and you can sometimes walk away without a deal being done,sometimes this makes you stronger and successful and the other person can respect this.You are confident in your beliefs and what you stand for.

So does Loving Less make you stronger?Yes and No.Not intentionally"Loving Less" but pretending to Love Less that is not desperate.If You look back to your teenage years you probably blabbed out everything that was in your mind to the person you liked.Then you thought oh shoot he/she is going to think Im a looney bin.Too much too soon.Its ok being honest but just think how would you react in a business meeting.You go in all prepared,with a concise plan in mind ,pack that confidence in and do what you have to do.Everything comes out beautifully.Perhaps you will be called in for a second meeting to discuss further or even a third meeting where you kind of know the gist of how to communicate with the person in front of you.You can gather from this that you will be able to have a great working relationship in the future and look at  ways in how you can carry each other towards success.Approaching Love is very much like the same thing.Off course there will be times where Love does not work according to appointments,it just happens.So if you just saw someone you were immediately interested in and see often,you would not say ''Hey babe can I have your number?".Dont say "Oh my god I really want to get your number because when I saw you coming,then I thought maybe I should,then I was hesistating and decided I would talk to you''.As sweet as you can be, that comes across very desperate and you dont want to invite some loser that will take advantage of you and get stuck in that pattern of choosing people who know you dont have the confidence.Something that does not relate to what your real intentions are, can work just fine.Like:
"Hi there,are you new?Im so and so,welcome to...",if somebody moved in your office building or apartment block.Its friendly without sounding too forward but it allows for someone to take notice in you.
Coming back to Loving Less making you stronger.It does not necessarily mean you dont have to love someone wholeheartedly.Give yourself time to get to know the other person,Give yourself time to get to know yourself because most of us dont really know who we are,what we are looking for and we dont need to settle for second best.This is what I mean by Loving less in the begininning that  does make you stronger because it allows you to put your confidence out in the world so the right people can find you.The right person is someone that is on your page and believes in your dreams,aspirations and future success just like their own.Love Less just in the beginning until you can intrepret where this relationship is heading.You know how Business is done,you do work and you get paid and vice versa.If you are contributing something to this relationship you should feel like the other person has your back too by contributing as well.This will make for a good partnership because it becomes stable as two people contribute towards the same goal.So business or personal this is how the deal is done.Shall we shake on that?
PHOTO COURTESY BY AMBRO